Where the Heck's My Extra Syrup? 7.10.08

I've been back in the U.S. for three weeks now. The adjustment has been harder than i expected. It is great to be back, though. I appreciate the ease of this country more than ever. everything works here. the electricity is steady, the AC is awesome, the internet is always available, and there are options and great choices everywhere i turn. But i find myself being bothered a bit by how deeply i am allowing myself to get sucked back into this "American Ease."

At breakfast with Paul Wilson week before last, after three months working in Nigeria, I had the best blueberry muffin ever. and then the best dang eggs--ever. And perfect bacon--the best ever, and these incredible pancakes--the best ever, and a great glass of water with A+ ice--the best ever. I even had a nice ramekin of warm maple syrup.

Paul and i talked about missions, and Cibolo Church's upcoming trip to Nigeria, and life in the States and our suburban faith. I spoke of the things I saw in Nigeria and the experiences I had. I spoke of the people I met and the lives being lived. And all the while, something was really knawing at me....

i was getting irritated! I was troubled!! I was growing annoyed!!! where the heck had our waitress gone?? what was the deal with the service here??? I mean, all the lights were on and the air was cool and the food was awesome and the company was great and the conversation was about spiritual things....but crisis had struck: I had some pancakes that "needed" to be finished, and I was out of maple syrup!!!!

Sure, I was no longer hungry, but that's not the point. I wanted justice! Didn't this waitress realize that I had been serving as a missionary in Nigeria??? Oh, the things i had learned, the sacrifices i had made. the places i had gone. the suffering i had endured. SO WHERE THE HECK WAS MY EXTRA MAPLE SYRUP???

And there you have it. In less than ten days I had officially, once again, become a full-fledged idiot. I made no sacrifices in Nigeria, especially when viewed in light of what Christ has done for all of us. And the "syrup crisis" remains my #1 fear with my life here in the U.S.

I am afraid I will forget what is really important and what people are going through in other parts of the world.

Already i find myself questioning whether it was really as bad for Nigerians as i remember it to be. The contrast between this life and that life is immense. i just got back from walking in the air-conditioned shade of beautiful Northpark Mall in Dallas. In Jos, I walked on a hot, highly polluted track in a compound with an eight foot, cinder block wall topped with razor wire and three guards at the front gate. Outside that wall was more loud traffic than you can imagine, with a small "river" separating the wall and the road. People often stop there to go to the bathroom right there on the bank to the water--the same water that people draw water from to use in their homes.

So how do i help the teenage girl coming out of Hollisters at Northpark Mall, and screaming to her mother that she needs more money, understand (without making her feel bad or guilty) that there are some teenage girls in Nigeria also, that she may want to know about...and consider...and maybe even help?

I am now searching for a home in Dallas--a place to live and work--as I try do build Go Nigeria into an entity, by God's grace, which can help the people of Nigeria. There is so much that will unfold on this journey, and it will happen on God's timetable--not mine. He has revealed what He wants me to do, but not how i am supposed to do it. So I grope along as best i can, seeking counsel and praying and crying out. But it is a walk of faith, and i fear I may lose my way.

So please pray that I can stay the course and persevere. And pray that He will provide the finances I need to do this work beyond those that I am already providing on my own.

And pray that He help me remember what is important, and to keep my eye on the ball, and to not worry too much about the extra syrup that part of me is sometimes so subtlely certain i deserve.